Termina de la Semana Primera

I am so glad it is the weekend. Little is happening this weekend thankfully because I need this time to recuperate. This has been such a difficult week for me.

Everyday was filled with new thoughts and feelings which ranged from learning that the Physical Therapists here do not use ice at all in their treatments to discovering that my right armpit smells infinitely worse than my left. Whether they do not teach the use of ice in the universities here or they do not have the equipment to have ice packs or some combination of both, I have not seen one ice pack. And as for my right armpit, it remains to be seen if excessive washing will fix my problem.

I think it was my second or third day that I realized I have never lived on my own before. I haven't learned how to grocery shop or cook for myself or make lunches for the next day. Thankfully everywhere I am they have little stores or people on the street selling food. Last night I attempted to fry some plantains or bananas and had decent success. I've been googling things like how to cut a mango because even simple things like that are unfamiliar to me.

Yet, it wasn't until Thursday or Friday (the days run together) that I even really thought about my stomach. I had been eating breakfast and lunch, but I was so exhausted and overwhelmed that I didn't even get dinner for the first couple days. Many mornings I didn't even want to get up and go to Teletón. I didn't want to be here in Honduras. I didn't want to expend the effort to understand Spanish or decipher English words pronounced with a Spanish accent (Elton John and The Beatles sound entirely different). I didn't want to try to conjugate verbs or determine the order of my nouns and adjectives. But communication and language is what I need to survive here. Surviving, yes, rather than thriving--I haven't even thought about that yet.

Thankfully at my work I am surrounded by a bunch of women who are like mothers to me, including me in what they are talking about or doing, helping me know where to go for lunch, and explaining things at a speed I can understand better. Orlando has been great at helping me with my Spanish, and I have had several long and good conversations with him. He has invited me to a couple things with his friends and I really appreciate his understanding when I can't understand him. He's had people stay with him from France and Germany, so he is used to helping people get used to the language and life here.

On Mondays I am in the Special Education area at Teletón. They have five different rooms: (1) the kids with learning difficulties like dyslexia, (2) an arts and crafts room so that the children with learning difficulties or disabilities are able to learn to make things to sell like touristy things or belts, (3) the babies and small children that have hearing and speaking deficiencies, (4) the adult room for hearing and speaking problems and (5) the room for mentally retarded people. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday I am in the adult gym with Carmen (one of the PTs). Thankfully the PTs finish working with patients at 12:30 and then do paperwork after that so I get to go home early on those days. Thursday and Friday I am in the children's gym with Claudia. Most of these children have either Spina Bifida and Down syndrome and the many complications that can come with these diseases like spastic muscles, poor trunk control and paralysis. There have been a few children with scoliosis, cystic fibrosis and microcephaly. Claudia asked me yesterday if I knew what the life expectancy is of someone once they're diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, and I didn't know. When I researched it today all I found was that it said age 35 although I think all of the medical information in English assumes that you have the money and access to medications for treatment and don't give information if you let disease run it's course. I don't know if that is what Claudia meant when she asked (what the life expectancy is without treatment), but a lot of the people from the villages do not have money to get medications for something like cystic fibrosis. When we went to the village school last week, the school teacher said that many of the children have trouble remembering things because they are malnourished. How much less important is medication when you are struggling to merely feed your family?

Every afternoon it rains here. It's beautiful when you're not caught in it. Unfortunately when I took Daniela (Dr. Ventura's niece) to her soccer practice, her practice ended right as it started to rain (and rain as in pouring and hailing, which is normal except for a few months in the winter). It is nice to have both the sun in the morning and rain in the afternoon.

I miss so many things now. I miss African cultural and Swaziland. (I think of and pray for the new team often. I know right now they are in their last weekend in Bulembu and their hearts are breaking at the prospect of leaving.) I miss the comforts of U.S. culture--English (with it's smooth and lazy words) and enjoying the summer at home. I miss my family and friends. I think of some of the other internships in the Elijah Project and think how nice they would be. I would be happy to go ahead and be done here. I know my mind will probably change as I spend more time here, but now it is difficult.

But I know I have something to learn here. I know that through this I will be grown. I know that my focus must be on the One who's growing me or I will disintegrate under the pressure of learning another language and culture. It is not the experience I expected. (I knew that I wouldn't know what to expect but that doesn't not mean that this isn't difficult.) I knew coming in that it would grow me in ways I could not see and confirm or deny things that I thought I knew about myself. But I am not having a village experience.

I have internet, running water, a toilet, a washer, and a bed. I am in a developing city with taxis, good roads, stores lining the streets and a central park. Puma is the footwear of choice, and American Eagle, Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Aeropostle are the clothes of choice. The city has power even if though it goes out every time it rains. People have the money here to eat meat.

I'm being exposed to a different side of culture that is stretching, that is growing, exhausting, overwhelming. Learning a language and the way of life are things that I had not considered when thinking about using Physical Therapy in a developing country. Maybe this is to show me where I am weak and/or how God will work through me despite my bankruptcy. Without God I would not have lasted through this week. Let me share the verses that have been my strength when I have had none. They have been encouraging, convicting, and humbling.

Joshua 1:8-9

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

Hebrews 4:11-16

Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.

For the word of God living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet was without sin.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

2 Timothy 3:16-17

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

Philippians 2:5-11

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death -- even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Things I am thankful for:

Sharing laughter with people here despite the language barrier.

Santa Rosa and Honduras's beauty.

Family and friends who are praying for me.

This trip and the difficulties and joy that it is bringing.

Teletón -- that the people have a place to go for rehabilitation and quality of life care, not just primary care.

I know that this next week may be just as difficult, but "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."